ABOUT PETTY PARCELS

Every great business starts with a problem.

Ours was a work colleague.

Not just an annoying work colleague.

An absolutely insufferable cunt of a work colleague.

The kind of person who makes you sit quietly at your desk wondering whether there might be a socially acceptable way to flip the bird and tell them to fuck off whilst sipping your morning coffee.

There wasn't.

So we created one.

PETTINESS, PROFESSIONALLY DELIVERED.

Petty Parcels was born from a simple thought:

Why are gifts only for people we like?

There are thousands of companies ready to send someone flowers because they're wonderful.

Chocolates because you love them.

Champagne because you're proud of them.

But what do you send someone who's been getting on your fucking nerves for six months?

Apparently, nothing.

We saw a gap in the market.

Petty Parcels exists for the people who deserve something slightly different.

The colleague who never stops complaining.

The neighbour who thinks your driveway is their parking space.

The friend who's always late.

The ex who keeps playing games.

The person who offers their opinion despite absolutely nobody fucking asking.

You choose the message.

We deliver it.

SAVAGE ON THE INSIDE. BEAUTIFUL ON THE OUTSIDE.

We didn't want Petty Parcels to look like a cheap prank shop.

Quite the opposite.

Every parcel is designed to look like someone has sent a genuinely beautiful gift.

Elegant packaging. Thoughtful presentation. Beautiful message cards.

Then they open it and discover a magnifying glass to help them find where the fuck you asked.

That's Petty Parcels.

ALWAYS ANONYMOUS.

Every Petty Parcel is sent anonymously.

Your identity isn't included in the recipient's parcel. No sender name. No invoice containing your details. No accidentally ruining the mystery.

They get the parcel.

They get the message.

They don't get your name.

Naturally, Petty Parcels still securely retains the information necessary to process orders and comply with our legal obligations. Anonymous doesn't mean untraceable or above the law.

We're here for petty revenge.

Not Crimewatch.

KEEP IT PETTY.

We're rude.

We're inappropriate.

We swear considerably more than most gift companies.

But there's a line.

Petty Parcels isn't a platform for threats, harassment, racism, homophobia, transphobia or genuine hatred.

Tell someone they're a bellend?

Fine.

Threaten them?

Fuck off.

You can read the boring-but-important details in our Keep It Petty Sending Policy.

SO, TO THAT ONE WORK COLLEAGUE...

You know who you are.

But without you, none of this would exist.

So thank you.

You insufferable cunt.

With unkind regards,

PETTY PARCELS